3rd ROAR POST

Summary
In my next section for reading I only read from pages 89-111 because I realized i have only 100 pages left so i need to distribute the amount so i get to do enough reading for my last 2 posts. In these pages I got to learn more about the actual nurses in the McLean Hospital that the girls have been in. There consist of many nurses but 2 I've been introduced to is Valerie and Mrs.McWeeny. Valerie is favored more by the ladies because shes a little better to them because they could get away with trying to talk trash about Mrs. McWeeny. Mrs.McWeeny doesn't get along with Valerie and by this the girls saw this as a advantage. Even by this the girls still hated all of them since they wanted everything to go their way when they clearly know isn't like that. For example Lisa through out this section wanted a nurse to open her window and she kept threatening to call her lawyer. She said this as she yelled and was demanding to have her window open, she wasn't even asking nicely. These girls expect to have the nurses lay them hand in foot whenever they want when they are totally incorrect. After this for the rest of the section we just got to see more of what was going through Susanna head and more of her personal opinions.
Quotation
These thoughts have no meaning, They are idiot mantras that exist in prearranged cycle: I'm no good, I'm the Angel of Death, I'm stupid, I cant do anything. Thinking the first thought triggers the whole circuit. Its like the flu: first a sore throat, then, inevitably, a stuffy nose and a cough"(Kaysen 93).
Reaction
While reading this quote I realized how Susanna is the type of person to sit there and think to herself. This is one of the moments she is giving her own opinion and gives me a opportunity to see how she feels about herself. She doesn't have high hopes for herself and has a very low self esteem. She knows how things work because she was right when she said after you have a thought on your mind it triggers you by staying there. Although her thoughts are making her seem like a retarded, evil person when I don't believe that's really her. I believe she is smarter then what she appears, but what she's exposed to in front of her is making her make the wrong decisions. I don't see her improving because first it starts mentally then physically but her mental image of herself isn't going to help her. The thoughts that shes having like this one is just going to lead her to the wrong path. Seeing her take this path hurts me because I think of actual people like her he are capable of moving forward but they wont let themselves.